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3 Years Veg and 7 Lessons Learned

July 21st marks my 3-year anniversary of giving up meat. While I celebrate the day I became fully Vegan more, this day is also important because it marks the beginning of my journey towards a cruelty-free life.

I could write and sing the praises about being Vegan forever but I thought I would rather share a few lessons I have learned to help those who might be struggling in their own journeys.

1. It Gets Easier and Easier

When I first thought about giving up meat, I honestly didn’t think I could do it. As I’ve written in My Vegan Journey, I loved meat, especially chicken, and while I always felt that hypocritical, cognitive dissonance between my “love” for animals and my food addictions, I was never able to align my actions with my conscience. Then again, I had never truly tried.

When I decided to go meat-free for a few days each week, I was somewhat at a loss of what to eat. It was tough to plan a day’s menu, let alone more than one day, but it got easier the more I learned, the more vegetables I tried and the more I learned to cook. Now being meat-free (and dairy-, egg-, and honey-free) is effortless and the variety of foods to eat is endless.

Then I was confused how to do Weight Watchers and Veganism at the same time. I was used to eating fat-free foods (before I learned that fat-free usually equals extra sugar) and Vegan foods had more calories and total fat. I recall standing in Whole Foods crying because I didn’t know what to do or what to buy. It took my making the effort to educate myself about nutrition to understand that the Vegan choice was not only the healthier and more compassionate choice but better for my weight loss plan as well.

At first I didn’t like a lot of foods. I hated tofu, soy milk, almond milk, tempeh, etc. but I kept trying them again and again. I tried different ways of cooking them, went to restaurants that knew how to cook them and eventually, I ended up loving them. But it took me over a year to like tofu and two years to love tempeh. Now I have a rule that I am not allowed to say I don’t like a food until I have tried it several times and in several different ways.

We love Brussels Sprouts!

The point is: don’t give up if it’s hard for you in the beginning. Anything new takes time to get accustomed to. Keep learning. Visit a sanctuary and meet the animals. Practice makes perfect!

2. Everyone’s Experience is Unique and Valid

It’s sad to say but there is a lot of judgment out there in the Vegan world. It’s bad enough that Vegans get judged by omnivores (or pre-vegans or whatever you want to call people) but then Vegans get judged by other Vegans for not being Vegan the “right” way or for the “right” reasons or fast enough or angry enough, etc.

There are some Vegans who were raised vegetarian or Vegan which is awesome. They didn’t eat much, if any, animal products and therefore, probably don’t miss those foods or understand why anyone would want to eat them. I wish that was my story. But most Vegans saw the light later and the later in life it happened, the more years of consuming animal products they experienced. Going Vegan at age 40 or 50 is not the same experience as going Vegan as a teenager or in your 20s.

Some people become vegetarian and stay there for years before they transition to Veganism. Some people go directly to Vegan. Some people do it for ethical reasons, some for health. The important thing is getting there no matter what path a person takes. If someone stopped eating animal products because they think aliens told them to, fine. As long as animal lives are saved, that is what matters.

Tom and I went Vegan in our 40s. We each had a lifetime of meat-eating habits to change and long-term, well-established relationships and activities that were affected. It doesn’t mean that we couldn’t make the change since we did, and we did it relatively quickly, but it does mean that we had a lot of challenges to deal with.

And while I am proud to say that we have never “fallen off the Vegan wagon,” that doesn’t mean that we haven’t been tempted which leads to my next lesson.

3. Cravings are Normal

We didn’t give up meat because we didn’t like it and it disgusted us. We both loved the taste of meat but morally and ethically, we could no longer engage in the cruelty that brought those tastes to us.

But becoming vegetarian and/or Vegan doesn’t automatically wipe the slate of one’s brain clean. There is a difference between what the brain/mouth/stomach wants and what the conscience will allow.

Of course, I now look at meat, dairy and eggs differently. There is a strong level of disgust that I didn’t have before. The site of raw meat makes me ill, sad and angry. Dairy particularly enrages me and once, when eating at a vegetarian restaurant, Tom and I had to move to another table because the smell of the eggs the people next to us were eating was making me sick.

But in all honesty, sometimes when I see cooked food on TV or in real life, I have cravings. When I smell certain foods, I have cravings. When I am in certain places or moods that have food associations for me, I have cravings. There are foods I loved that I still miss. There’s a part of me that still wants Buffalo wings, fried chicken, steak, and pizza with extra cheese. The point is that I will NOT eat them EVER. I will NOT put my cravings above the suffering and lives of other beings. For me, there is no going back.

This is how I prefer my chicken now: ALIVE!

Over time, the cravings lessen but I still get them and that does not make me a bad Vegan. It makes me NORMAL. Having cravings is not what is important. What matters is what I do about them. I remind myself about the hell the animals go through and then it’s simple because no matter what foods I crave, I love the taste of compassion more.

4. Veganism is Mega-Healthier but Not Total Immunity

If you read My Vegan Journey or my health journey featured on Christina Cooks, then you know that I’ve experienced a miraculous turnaround with my health since becoming Vegan. I’ve lost 116 lbs. so far, I am no longer hypertensive, I don’t get sick as often or as severely and I am no longer taking the arsenal of medications that I used to.

Me Before

Me After

I credit Veganism with much of my progress but just eating a plant-based diet is not enough. First I gave up MSG, HFCS, additives and preservatives. Then I gave up white, refined foods. Then I became a vegetarian, then a Vegan. Then I gave up highly processed foods. Then I became gluten-free and lastly, I am working on decreasing the amount of soy I consume.
My diet is a whole-foods one. I don’t eat cake or cookies or junk food. If I want a snack, I eat dried fruit or popcorn. Admittedly, I still fry food way too often but if I eat something fried, I balance it with a raw salad. I take vitamins, supplements and probiotics. Kale, collards and chard are my favorite foods.

And still I am battling with autoimmune disorders and other illnesses. I often wonder how much sicker I would be if I did not eat such a healthy, plant-based, whole foods diet and I know that Veganism is probably saving my life. But when I hear people talk about Veganism as an insurance policy against all illnesses, I personally think that is irresponsible. Vegans can still get cancer, heart disease, stomach problems and other diseases. The risk is greatly lessened but it’s still possible, especially the later in life the change was made. People still need to make sure they get the proper vitamins and minerals, exercise, eat healthfully and see doctors for medical screenings and care. Good nutrition is definitely the BEST medicine but it might not be the only medicine a person needs.

5. Advocacy Comes in Many Forms

When I first became Vegan, I went to protests, rallies, parades, marches, events and fundraisers. I wanted to do everything and anything that involved fighting for the animals. But I didn’t enjoy everything I did. I learned that I am not happy being around people who yell, insult or attack other people. I can’t imagine that anyone who is being humiliated on a public street is going to be open to listening and learning; I certainly would not have been.

At the beginning, I experienced that zeal and excitement too. If I could learn the truth and see the light, why couldn’t everyone else? But different people respond to different methods and in their own time. I don’t want to judge or insult people who have not yet learned the truth or who are still stuck in their denial and I certainly don’t want to give up the hope that they will eventually break through.

When I hear people do that, I think that these same people who are my friends and whom I love dearly would not have thought I was a good person just 3 short years ago. I would prefer to see everyone as a potential Vegan and help them see the truth in a friendly, compassionate way.

The world needs all kinds of advocates – protestors, educators, writers, performers, cooking, legal, etc. The key is finding out what you are good at and what makes you happy and most effective. For a while I was at a loss as to what my niche was. I looked at where my talents lie. I know I am a good teacher (at least my students say so) and I like to write and I love to cook.

For me, writing, cooking and posting recipes on my blog is a great way for me to reach out to people and show them that being Vegan is easy and delicious. I wear clothes and buttons with Vegan messages and I love when people offer me food so I can proclaim my Veganism with pride. I know that I have convinced many people to become Vegan (or at least try) by educating them about animal cruelty in a way that is neither accusatory nor judgmental. Hopefully, I will write that Vegan cookbook and one day teach about Veganism on a larger scale, perhaps in the school system.

I made this shirt for Tom: Real Men Eat Vegan

Whether it’s keeping a blog or writing a book or wearing a t-shirt or button with a Vegan message that sparks conversation or publicly ordering a cruelty-free meal, it is activism. It all counts. Everyone doesn’t have to do everything but everyone can do something.

6. Vegan Pride is Key

This is quite simple. If you don’t show pride in being Vegan, then no one will respect your choice. If you act like you are a freak, people will treat you like one. If you apologize for being compassionate, people will agree with you that you have something to apologize for. If you make being Vegan seem difficult or inconvenient, then that is what people will think it is. If you are afraid to admit to people that you are Vegan, then you are sending the message that it’s something to be ashamed of.

People who are not Vegan don’t know what it is like to be Vegan. The only information they have is what Vegans give to them. It is important to show people that being Vegan is something to be proud of, that it’s easy and rewarding, and that you are dedicated and firm in your convictions.

Choosing compassion is NEVER something to be ashamed of or something that should be hidden or apologized for. Becoming Vegan is my proudest accomplishment in my entire life and everyone that knows me knows that is how I feel. They know how important and serious it is to me and the sooner they learn how deep my convictions run, the sooner they respect my beliefs.

7. The “V” Word

I say The “V” Word multiple times a day. I make sure that everyone who knows me knows what the word “Vegan” means. It is the simplest yet most important lesson of all: The “V” Word: Say it. Eat it. Live it.

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12 Responses to 3 Years Veg and 7 Lessons Learned

  1. Rhea Parsons October 2, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

    Hi Nicola,

    You should never feel guilty for a craving. They are just part of our memories with associations of experiences and thoughts. I still crave foods I used to eat all the time but I don’t eat them. That I would feel guilty about.
    Thanks for the compliment 🙂

  2. Nicola October 2, 2011 at 1:26 pm #

    Loved reading this 🙂 especially the part about cravings, you’re so right. I’m not going to feel guilty next time 🙂

    Cannot believe how fantastic you look, and how much healthier you are now, that is just brilliant!

  3. Rhea Parsons July 28, 2011 at 8:56 am #

    Jena, thank you so much! Hope you are enjoying your journey. Being Vegan Rocks!!!!

  4. Jena July 28, 2011 at 6:21 am #

    Happy 3 years and thank you for this wonderful post! As a new vegan (about 6 months), I have already learned some of the lessons you have and others I am looking forward to experiencing very soon!

  5. Rhea Parsons July 23, 2011 at 3:26 am #

    Thank you Tom. Your blog is great too and I added it to my faves.

  6. Tom July 22, 2011 at 10:07 pm #

    Great essay, and congratulations! Our experiences have been very similar. About cravings, I feel like I haven’t given anything up. Pizza without cheese is just as good (if not better), and I’ve found that the flavor of hot sandwiches like “cheesesteaks” is actually found in their (very vegan) fried peppers & onions, salt & pepper, and vegenaise!

  7. Rhea Parsons July 20, 2011 at 1:34 am #

    Thank you Amanda! I will definitely read your story. Thanks for sharing it.

  8. Amanda July 20, 2011 at 12:24 am #

    Congratulations! Thanks for sharing your story. It’s always amazing and inspiring to hear about how people’s lives have changed in all ways – not just that they stopped eating animals. I’m three years vegan, as well. Check out my blog post if you’d like to read my story –

  9. Rhea Parsons July 19, 2011 at 9:40 am #

    Havegonevegan, thank you. My 3 year vegan anniversary is in February – it took me 7 months to fully transition. Congrats on your Veganversary!!!

  10. Have Gone Vegan July 19, 2011 at 9:33 am #

    First, congratulations on the milestone! Second, I’ll be vegan for three years this summer too! Except I don’t remember the exact date which I now find odd as going vegan is one of the most important decisions I ever made. Third, fantastic post Rhea. Will definitely be sharing! 🙂

  11. Rhea Parsons July 19, 2011 at 8:46 am #

    Dear Wind (pretty name), yes, that was not a fun shopping experience and it happened again and again until I finally realized that a higher total fat was ok especially when the sat fat was zero!

    I’m glad that ou are having a peaceful experience on WW and with your diet. That is SO important! Looking forward to hearing about your progress. xoxo

  12. thewindandthevegan July 19, 2011 at 7:17 am #

    Can I tell you how much I relate to you crying in whole foods??? Before becoming vegan, during an attempt to lose weight, grocery shopping became so overwhelming and anxiety producing. I have been vegan on WW for about a month, and so far it has been the most successful, peaceful and above all simple weight loss experience I have ever had. I couldn’t be happier that I found your blog.

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